The Old Man and the Steak

I've always thought Earnest Hemmingway would be a very interesting dinner guest.

I don't think he'd be very interested in my stories, but I figure, he's really the sort of person you listen to, not be listened to by. You'd invite over a few other guys, and you'd all sit and listen to his many self-indulgent tales, and everyone would have a great time.

But what would you cook for Earnest Hemmingway?

When deciding on what to serve Hemmingway, I think you have to ask yourself, what would I want to eat for a later dinner seated on a dusty, old armchair in front of a blazing brick fireplace in a red, velvet dressing gown while stroking an affectionate seven-toed cat?

And you have your answer. Steak tips.

"Steak tips" are fried steak strips served over a bed of vegetables. Here's how I made mine. (If you will: some steak tips for steak tips. My wife's joke.)

Let's start with the sides. I wanted mashed potatoes, but for Hemmingway, I decided to man them up a little by mixing in some chopped green onion. This is what they call "champ" in Northern Ireland, a place which, to me, seems like it would have some pretty manly cuisine.

Besides the champ, I wanted more vegetables on the side. I like a lot of vegetables, but for Hemmingway, we're going to have to disguise the fact that they're just plain old veggies. So, in a frying pan, I roasted some peanuts in oil for a few minutes, and added some chopped carrots and green beans. When the carrots and beans were cooked, I added some soy and peanut butter -- not a lot, just enough to give the veggies a dark glaze. I'd say this sauce made regular carrots and beans about 75% more manly.

When you're chopping vegetables, it's okay to experiment with shape. I really like it when the size of the different vegetables is fairly uniform, so here's how I cut carrots to match green beans:

Now for the steak tips.

First, get some cheap steak, and slice it into strips. Fry that up on a nonstick pan (it's going to be very hard to clean on a regular pan), and as it's just finished browning, add some brown sugar and sweet chili sauce, enough to coat the meat generously. Let that blacken in the pan.

Separately, fry up some onion, sliced mushrooms and red pepper/capsicum. If you really want to bring out the flavour of the red pepper, roast it in the oven. It's a bit more effort, but you will definitely notice the difference. It's well worth it.Just slice the pepper into strips, and let it roast at about 200C until it the tips start turning black -- maybe 10 minutes. Also, make sure you fry the onion until it's almost done before you add the mushrooms. Onions take a lot longer to cook.

When the onion, mushrooms and red peppers are cooked, you're ready to dish up. Just make a layer of this fried veg mixture and lay the steak strips on top, and add a sprinkle of shredded cheese. Steak tips look great on a plate with your peanut-veggie fry and champ on the side. Try it out! It's going to be awesome.

Anyway, I hope Hemmingway's impressed.